How do you keep friends
Do you know how to keep friends, how to stay in each others lives? I know many people who have friends they've known since grade school. I am one of those people who still only talks to 2 people from high school, oh I am "friends" with a bunch of people from high school via facebook, but the true meaning of friends I have 1, and my husband.
As far as since high school the numbers aren't much bigger, my days at IHOP which I worked at for at least 6 years I speak to maybe 4 or 5 people still and its far a few between. Is it because there is this connection via FB? Facebook gives people a false sense of community. I am a HUGE fan of facebook, I enjoy it, it stresses me out, and there are some stupid people on there but in the long run it does allow me to stay in communication with people. Is that a false friendship, is that a false relationship?
Then to look at my friendships in adulthood it seems that it is the same thing people come and go and at the worst of times I get tired of being the one to always reach out, I get tired of being the one who seems to want to stay friends, and then I sound needy and that's no good either.
So, how do you keep friends, which friends are worth keeping? As an adult and as a mom the type of people I am around effect me and my family. Also its good for my kids to see how friendship works, how the give and take works. Its not a matter of gifts, or text messages. It is a matter connections. It is the matter of worth in each others lives.
I have come to the conclusion that all though I am the stay-at-home mom and the one with more time to reach out, it can not fall on me to be the only one to reach out. I have to be ok with having relationships that may not be what I imagined them to be.
To be honest there are days that friends are the last things I want, conversations are tiring, and trying to be there for someone else is exhausting. Most of my friends understand that, which I am grateful for.
As I get older the question How do you keep friends? has changed to me. I come to understand that I do not need to have a million friends, I just need the ones who are willing to be a friend back to me. When I was in FL for a month I spoke to a number of people and it always made me smile when someone reached out without needing me reach out first. Or when someone reached out just to say hi and didn't actually need me to do them a favor.
I am done trying to figure out how to keep friends, I am done trying to be the best friend to every person, I am working on being the best friend to those who deserve it. I am a loyal friend who wants what is best for my friends and I am just learning at age 35 that I am worth the same. I get sad when I think about some of the people I have had in my life that I do not talk to anymore, or the people in my life that I wish I was closer too, but that is life, people change, grow, move on. Its better to remember the good rather than force a fake relationship.